top of page

The Algorithmic Trap: Why Social Media Shapes Us and What We Can Do About It

In an age where technology permeates every aspect of our lives, social media has become a central pillar of our daily interactions. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook and Twitter offer a sense of community, a place to share experiences, and a means to stay connected. However, the reality behind these digital gatherings is far more complex and, at times, troubling. The algorithms that govern these platforms dictate what we see, how we engage and ultimately, how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

Social media platforms were initially heralded as revolutionary tools for connection and communication. They promised to bridge distances, foster communities and democratize information. Yet, as these platforms evolved, the algorithms designed to enhance user engagement have begun to shape our interactions in ways that prioritize engagement over authenticity.

At the heart of this issue lies the algorithm—a set of rules designed to determine what content appears in our feeds. These algorithms are not neutral; they are engineered to maximize engagement, often by promoting content that elicits strong emotional reactions. Posts that provoke anger, joy, or surprise are more likely to be shown, while those that foster nuanced discussion or offer diverse viewpoints may be sidelined. This creates an echo chamber effect, where users are continually exposed to content that reinforces their existing beliefs and biases.

One of the most concerning aspects of this algorithmic influence is its impact on our sense of community and self-worth. Social media platforms thrive on metrics: likes, shares, comments and followers. These metrics become proxies for social validation, leading users to tailor their content to what the algorithm rewards. This can create a cycle of superficial engagement, where the pressure to conform to algorithmic preferences overshadows genuine expression.

For many, particularly younger users, this can lead to a distorted sense of self-worth. The relentless pursuit of likes and approval can create anxiety, depression, and a perpetual sense of inadequacy. The curated perfection seen on social media feeds contrasts starkly with the messy reality of everyday life, leading to unrealistic expectations and deepening insecurities.

Moreover, the sense of community that social media promises often falls short. Real community is built on trust, empathy and meaningful interaction—qualities that algorithms cannot measure or prioritize. While social media can facilitate connections, it can also reduce complex human relationships to mere transactions, governed by the whims of an algorithm designed to keep users hooked.

So, why do we continue to rely on these platforms despite their flaws? The answer lies in our fundamental human need for connection and belonging. Social media offers a convenient, immediate way to meet these needs, especially in a world where physical communities are increasingly fragmented. However, the convenience of digital connection often comes at the cost of depth and authenticity.

To reclaim our sense of community and self-worth, we must approach social media with a critical eye. This involves recognizing the limitations and biases of the platforms we use. It means seeking out and fostering genuine connections offline, where interactions are not mediated by algorithms. It also requires advocating for greater transparency and accountability from social media companies, urging them to prioritize user well-being over engagement metrics.

One effective strategy is to join groups and platforms that do not rely on algorithms to engage. Our Authentic Rebel Community does just that. We strive for real interaction, opinions, and thoughts, all shared with kindness and healthy debates. Our aim is to foster a sense of belonging that is free from superficial gratification, ensuring that every member feels valued and heard.

We are not machines, and our social interactions should not be reduced to algorithmic transactions. By understanding the forces at play and taking deliberate steps to counteract them, we can begin to rebuild communities that are grounded in authenticity and mutual support. Social media has the potential to enrich our lives, but only if we use it mindfully and insist on putting human values at the center of our digital interactions.



"A SENSE of community", A set of rules designed to determine what content appears in our feeds"..... I don't think you could have hit the nail on the head any harder. A sense of community vs. actual community - It's the difference between "look at me" and "truly see me". I don't love social media, because it's such a value disconnect for me. As an individual AND a Life Coach, I know how problematic comparison and spiraling thoughts are. You can curate beautiful feeds on social media all day long - but true connection doesn't happen in vanity metrics, going through the motions, and always having the same perspective (seeing more of the same). Confirmation bias has its own…

Heidi Millar
Heidi Millar

Thank you so much for this response, Rebecca. This is an important discussion and it's so interesting to hear your perspective as a life coach. As humans interact less in real life or on platforms that are based on shared success, the need for genuine community becomes more apparent.

Communities that want you to succeed rather than seeing you as competition are crucial. Women supporting women and fostering a spirit of mutual support, are vital factors. Social media often allows people to speak without accountability, leading to issues like online bullying. You can be blocked and not even be told why, which adds to the frustration and isolation.

There are many reasons why social media platforms fail to work for…


Join Groups for Connection & Support

bottom of page